The term “writing” covers a wide range of acts. There is the Great American Novel and direct mail flyers. Ad copy and speeches. Screenplays and novels. Radio scripts and web content. Being able to put words on a page takes many forms, not all of them lofty or noble. Sometimes all you need is a well-crafted email or text. That is the wonder of writing and human communication. It comes in all forms.
No, the problem is not with the form writing takes, but with the mindset many writers have when faced with what many consider “pedestrian” work. Their minds become pedestrian, bland, complacent, and it doesn’t have to be that way. You can elevate your writing no matter what form it takes, whether it’s the opening of your manuscript or a simple introduction. Here’s an example of what I mean.
This is an opening scene in season two, episode 9 of The West Wing where Sam Seaborn, played by Rob Lowe, and written by Aaron Sorkin, rewrites an introduction for an event celebrating the landing of Galileo V on Mars. The original version in the episode was written by NASA’s PR Department:
“Good morning, I’m speaking to you live from the West Wing of the White House. Today we have a very unique opportunity to take part live in an extremely historic event…”
And here is the rewritten (Sam’s) version:
“Good morning. Eleven months ago a twelve-hundred pound spacecraft blasted off from Cape Canaveral, Florida. Eighteen hours ago it landed on the planet Mars. You, me, and 60,000 of your fellow students across the country, along with astro-scientists, engineers from the Jet Propulsion Laboratory in southern California, NASA Houston, and right here in the White House, are going to be the first to see what it sees, and to chronicle the extraordinary voyage of an unmanned ship called Galileo V.”
There is no comparison between the two. One is clumsy and poorly written. As President Bartlet, played by Martin Sheen, points out, “unique” means one of a kind. Something cannot be very unique, nor can it be extremely historic.” CJ Cregg, played by Allison Janney, mentions the repetition of the word “live” and jokes that it sounds as if they were promoting new technology.
The new version, however, lifts the idea of a Mars landing into the realm of the imagination and conveys the wonder of the moment. Sam elevates the introduction copy by focusing on the emotion of what is happening, on the idea of an unmanned vehicle, 159 million miles from Earth, beaming back images to NASA, the Jet Propulsion Lab, the White House and 60 thousand teachers and students in a singular streamed event.
How many Zoom call introductions have risen to that level for you this past year? How many introductions for anything has accomplished that much in one short paragraph? How many should?
This introduction (written brilliantly by Aaron Sorkin) captures the magnitude of the moment. This is no bland introduction. It’s an ideal version of what writing can be and should be.
Now I’m not saying you should strive for this every time you are charged with an assignment, but don’t cop out either and offer up the lowest common denominator. Try harder. Do more. Aim higher. Engage your audience by elevating your writing.
In our next blog, we will look at ten specific ways to elevate your writing.