There’s nothing more nerve-raking as a writer than submitting your work to an agent or editor. There’s that moment before you hit send that makes your heart skid to a halt and then jump back into rhythm. It’s a queasy act of faith before you’re forced to wait and worry. Is my work good enough? Will they like it? What if they don’t?
It’s the waiting that undermines…everything. Confidence falters. Worries and anxieties come out to play. Stress builds.
The act of putting our hard work out into the world for judgement is difficult and made worse by fearing the worst—rejection.
No matter how many times you hit submit, that worry remains. No matter how many times you’ve been successful, the hesitation remains. Will this piece work or fail? Will I be good enough? There is no way around it that I have found. No matter how long I’ve been in this business, I always worry until I hear back from a client, agent or editor. I worry about what I’ve written and what I’ve left out. By now, I know rejection well. I’ve made my share of mistakes, been turned down and lost out on jobs.
Being a writer means getting used to this process…or at least earning how to handle it.
It’s not easy. It takes a strong will and a willingness to persevere through failure. But if you want to write, there is no other option. Writing means exposing yourself, your ideas and your work to those who will judge it and deem it worthy or not.
Knowing all that does not ease the turmoil though. It is only what keeps you writing through the waiting and the verdict. Hating and relishing the in-between points when your work is like Schrödinger’s cat—both good enough and crap, accepted and rejected. Both possibilities remain…until they don’t. Until you get that email, letter or call. Until you know.
In my next blog, I will share tips for dealing with rejection, but today I want to wallow in the prospect of it. Wade into the delicate balance of believing in your work and deeming it ready for the world versus waiting for confirmation or a crushing defeat. It’s a precarious position, but one that exists for all who create.
Rejection is part of this business. It’s a part of the process. The only way to avoid it is to take a traditional 9-5 job writing for a corporation or nonprofit, pull in that steady paycheck and turn away from queries, pitches and proposals. Even then, you may decide to write a novel. If so, you will find yourself in this place waiting on an agent to make your year or crush you underfoot.
Be strong. Know that this too will make you a better writer and person. Rejection is normal. It happens to everyone—from the boy turned down for a date to the actor who loses out on yet another part. It’s part of life. One we must ultimately embrace.
Still…knowing doesn’t make it better. But like anything we don’t want to do (go to the dentist, have surgery, pay taxes, say goodbye), we must in the end submit. There’s no other option if we want to write.
Look for It’s Not You: Writing and Rejection Part II of II next week. Until then, keep writing!