I am against censorship of any form. Even the idea of censorship makes me angry. I’ve shared about this before in a blog about Banned Books, which was a blog about external censorship. Today I want to talk about the more insidious form of internal, self-censorship.
We all do it. We allow our internal editor or arbiter of shame step forward. We listen when it whispers, “Do you really want to write that?” We allow it to steer us away from difficult topics or stories that are potentially embarrassing. The problem is that backing off ideas and stories is a slippery slope to stronger restrictions imposed upon ourselves. Self-censorship limits who we are as writers and who we can become.
To fight it, you have to lean into the uncomfortable. Write what makes you feel something no matter where those feelings take you. It’s tempting to censor ourselves along the way, to guide the narrative to places that feel stable, but it’s not the route to pure expression.
If you want to discover your best story, you can’t censor your own thoughts and emotions. Be free. You can always edit out what doesn’t work in the end, but write as free as you can when putting your ideas on the page for the first time. Write without shame, embarrassment, fear or reservations.
There’s a reason Hemingway said to “write drunk, edit sober.” He meant for us to let go of inhibitions and social norms that may make you want to write reserved, to protect your privacy, to shield yourself from embarrassment or ridicule. Don’t. It’s going to happen anyway, you will have fewer regrets if you write the story you want to write without shying away from the hazardous parts.
Social media has increased writers’ feelings of exposure. It’s easy for trolls to lash out and say cutting things. They will do it no matter what you write. That’s the state of our world. Anonymity allows cruelty to thrive. But who cares? Ignore the critics and trolls. The only thing that matters is the story. Your job is to let go of restraint and tell the truest story you can.
If something in your story needs trimming or tempering, your editor will tell you. Your job is to fling yourself upon the page without thoughts of self-preservation. You must lay yourself bare just as an actor must tap into his or her own experiences to become someone else. It’s the only way to write something real.
The trick is to write as honestly and viscerally as you can. You cannot hold yourself apart and write well. You can’t hide or shield yourself. You can’t be insincere and succeed. Your characters are not you, but you will show through the story anyway. You will show in the way the story unfolds and how it sounds. Let it happen. Let your story be a part of you.
I know this is a weird topic to include in the blog, but as a highly introverted person (read: near hermit), it’s something I struggle with regularly. I often fight to keep from editing my opinions, feelings and ideas. There are things I choose not to share, but that’s different than writing about a topic and not committing to it fully for fear of…well, of anything. The fact is no matter what you write, you need to commit to it, whether its fiction or nonfiction, client work or independent pieces. Words matter. Be careful how you wield them.