There comes a time in everyone’s life when you have to embrace who you are, faults and flaws included, although we may try to avoid being that truthful with ourselves. We love to tell ourselves lies—calories don’t count on Sunday, I’ll make up for it tomorrow. In the end, though, we are ourselves whether we own up to it or not. These lies hamper us and our writing.
This is not to say people cannot change, for they can with extreme work, though I do believe our basic nature is what it is. No matter how I try to be different, I will always be an introvert. It is my nature, just as writing is. It also affects my writing.
I am many things that influence what I write and even the ideas my imagination provides. These are things that will always be part of me—curiosity, reading, nerdy/geeky tendencies, moodiness. I could go on and on, but you get my point. I am who I am and, while I continue to learn and grow, there are certain things that will never waver. They are the things that make up who I am or my character traits.
As a writer, I welcome those parts of me—the good and the not so much. I own each of my traits so I can use them in my writing. They are the building blocks for anyone else I write–those people who populate my stories. Even when I observe others to mine their traits, I filter them through my own.
It helps to know how my brain filters those perceptions so I can be honest in my depictions of people, especially those different from myself.
I suppose you could say knowing yourself is the first part of that admonishment to “write what you know”–a concept that holds some merit when it is kept broad or limited to universal truths. [Aside: I am a firm believer in researching and learning new things to include in my writing, so sticking to the “write what you know” thing doesn’t always work for me. Besides sticking to it would remove one of my favorite aspects of the craft—the ability to grow with each project.]
Each of us have unique experiences to draw from—unique because we filter them through our perspective and understanding. No two people are alike and no two will interpret the same incident in the same way. It is why eye witnesses are spectacularly unreliable. Each person sees through their own filter and their own expectations. Even those things we recognize as fixed.
The wonderful thing about that is realizing that no one else can write your story the same way, even about the same event. Your story needs your voice, experience and perspective to come alive. It needs your points of reference to inform your characters.
These are the things you know—the human traits you have, envy and loathe. Your observations of the world and the meaning you take from that viewing. Only you know how you see the world and the people in it. Draw from your experiences and emotions. Mine your depths.
I like to think that writing a story is like acting in reverse. Actors take the written word and become the character using shared emotions to bring them to life, using her own life as fodder to connect with and fill the shoes of the character she plays. It is called “method” acting.
Writing characters requires a writer to pull those same emotions from our experiences and understanding to create people who are complex and real. We dig deep within ourselves first and then put it into the people we fill our pages with. In order to do that, we have to be honest with ourselves and others. To portray people, we have to truly see them. We have to see ourselves clearly too and embrace all that we see, whether we want to change it or not.
When we do that, it’s easy to avoid cliché characters and stereotypes. No one is all good or all bad. Not everyone in a single group is the same.
We are complex. We are messy. Life is more so. Stories should reveal that.
Our lives are our first and most important research. It is the foundation upon which all else is built. So stop trying to be someone else. Stop trying to ignore those things about yourself that do not sit so easily within your heart and mind. Analyze them. Accept them. Use them.
It will make you a better person and a better writer.