Did you lean in a little with just those six words? It’s okay if you did. Most people do.
Stories are powerful. We all want to know what happened next, how it felt to stare down danger or fall in love or fail spectacularly. It’s exactly those stories that help us connect and feel.
This blog could be like any other out there, sharing the power of story. But what happens if I tell you why stories matter to me? What if I let you into one of my stories before I give you facts on why stories work? Let’s see.
The Story
When I was growing up, my father traveled a lot. He was gone more often than he was home. But when he’d return, he’d bring fantastic stories with him. It was the one thing I would beg for, even when my sister begged for toys and my brother for rocks (I know…rocks!).
My favorite was the time his plane broke down in the Australian Outback and he was forced to stay in a tiny one floor hotel until it was fixed.
I can still see the pale yellow walls and faded orange poles holding up the roof. The shingled shutters framing the windows and the dusty, rocky landscape surrounding it. I can see if as if it was a memory.
My Dad went into that tiny room with its big bed and dingy shower only to find himself trapped for days. He couldn’t leave the room, no matter how hard he tried. No prawns on the barbie. No pint at the bar. No fun for Dad.
When my Dad tried to leave his room, he found a jacked kangaroo blocking the exit. No matter what my dad did, the kangaroo wouldn’t leave. He tried yelling at him, sneaking past him, calling for help. Nothing worked. He was stuck. For days.
Right.
The Truth…Maybe
I was five at the time and I bought this story. All of it. I loved animals and thought it was hilarious my Dad was thwarted by a kangaroo.
But, more importantly, my Dad knew how to tell a story that would have me roaring. I believed every word. It wasn’t until I was much older (really, much older than I should have been) when I realized my Dad’s stories were mostly fiction with a tiny grain of truth.
That trip was to Australia and he probably did see a kangaroo and stayed in a motel with yellow walls. Everything else? Probably not.
The Lesson
It wasn’t until his wake that I found out nearly every story he’d told me was like that, in a reverse “Big Fish” reveal. But that’s not what mattered. By then I’d learned the power of story and taken his best bit of advice to heart:
“If everything goes according to plan, you have no good stories to tell.”
It’s true and also my life motto.
The truth of his stories didn’t matter. He connected with me. He made me laugh. He took time to create them because he knew I loved them. That’s what mattered.
The Breakdown
But let’s break down how and why they worked:
We remember stories more than facts
When we hear facts only two parts of our brain fire up—the
Stories engage the motor cortex, sensory cortex, and frontal cortex. They also release cortisol, dopamine, and oxytocin. Scientists believe this is because stories tap into the parts of the brain responsible for imagination and creativity. But it may be as simple as stories attracting more attention in the first place.
Stories link the brains of the teller and the audience
This process is called neural coupling and it means that we process stories as if we were participating in the event itself. Our brains and bodies respond as if the events were happening to us. This happens because of mirror neurons.
Stories use more of the brain than facts
Using FMRI studies, scientists have proven that more areas of the brain are activated by stories than mere facts. That’s because the brain reacts to stories as if it were happening to the audience member. This is because of that neural coupling we mentioned above.
Stories operate on an emotional level
Psychologists call this phenomenon narrative transport. it is a function of empathy that comes from the empathy center of the brain.
Stories help us focus
This is huge when so many of us are distracted by information overwhelm or neurodivergence. Did you know that scientists estimate that individual brains have up to 2,000 daydreams per day and spends half the time floating aimlessly? But when someone starts telling a story, the brain wakes up and pays attention.
Stories alter our brain chemistry
When we engage in stories in an emotional way, our brain produces oxytocin. This is the chemical associated with compassion, trust, sensitivity and generosity. It is the hormone that causes labor, delivery and lactation, and helps moms connect with their babies, among other functions. It’s a powerful hormone that deeply affects both men and women.
Stories change our behavior
In psychological studies, researchers found participants were far more likely to donate to a cause after watching an emotionally impactful video involving story. The control group who didn’t watch a story-based video donated significantly less.
Stories are primal
We use stories to communicate history, tradition, culture and legends. They are based on folk tales, myths, archetypes, and a range of patterns and symbols. And they connect us on a universal level. They are a primal part of our culture and communication as humans.
Stories connect us
Stories foster empathy through shared experiences. The more we feel, the more we care, support, trust, act. Stories give us meaning, purpose, and a common ground.
We think in stories
We frame our experiences and encounters as stories. We draw on familiar patterns, structures, scripts, mental maps and metaphors to make sense of what happens around us. Stories help us figure out why things happen and what we should do as a result. They ground us.
We believe in the happy ending
Just as our minds are wired for stories, our hearts are too. We believe in the conflict resolution structure of stories. It gives us hope during hard times that this too shall pass.
Communication without story fails
People don’t remember facts like stories. They don’t feel without stories. They cannot engage without story. And companies that do not embrace story in their communications fail in developing trust, authenticity and engagement.
