At the beginning of summer my husband urged me to take a break from work, which surprised me. I am a stay-at-home-working mom. I make my schedule so I can take care of our son. How was I supposed to take a break? Wasn’t my shorter work day enough?
He didn’t think so. He explained that as an independent writer, I never stopped working. I was always either thinking about my projects, researching them or putting words on the page. My mind was always focused on story. I never stepped back and took time for me. Everything I did was in service to my writing.
It was true. My entire life focused on story in one way or another.
He even argued that, while I love movies, books and some television, they too revolve around story and are related to my craft. Then he accused me of not just watching movies, but of analyzing them for story and production values. He was not wrong. I do that. I can’t help it. It was second nature. Part of my job description as a script doctor. One of my specialties.
I could make a case for that. But then he asked the big question. The one I could not answer.
Where did I find balance? When did I do something just for me that did not involve story? Taking care of our family didn’t count. Neither did playing with our son. They weren’t for me. What did I do that was just for me that did not help my work?
I was stumped. Everything in my life is about story. Whether I was creating, reading or watching it. It is the main focus of my life. It is my passion. But doing nothing but that could not be a good thing, could it? But I never stepped back. Heck, I even listen to short stories and books while I work out. I never take a break from it.
Maybe I was burned out.
My writing had slowed. I approached projects with a bit more reluctance than usual. It was harder to come up with the words.
You have to realize that I have made my living as a writer for a long time. Long before my husband ever knew me. And in all that time, I had never really taken a break other than a few solo and a handful of family vacations.
So I decided to take that break he offered.
It started out as the first week of summer so I could spend some time with my son. After that week passed, I decided to take a two-month hiatus from a monthly contract with one of my clients. I needed to refocus. I needed a break.
My husband was right. (Don’t tell him I said that.)
Now I still watch movies and read. I love them too much to give them up. But I did give up my habit of analyzing everything I watch and read and allowed myself to simply enjoy the stories as they unfolded, paying little attention the how they were crafted and assembled and shot (unless done badly).
This summer I mostly played. I built castles in Minecraft with my son and ran races with Mario. I jumped at the local trampoline park, ignoring the fact that I was the oldest one by decades who was bouncing up and down. I ate popcorn mixed with M&Ms and introduced my son to his newest hero—MacGyver (the original one). We took walks at the local freshwater preserve and did a hundred fun things together that did not revolve around the written word. It was a great summer.
I stopped answering phone calls and emails. I took an actual vacation without leaving home before taking one that involved suitcases and travel. It was heaven. I didn’t touch my novel for two weeks. Then I did and loved it.
So that is where I have been the past few months. Well, since summer. Taking a break and recharging at first. And then, writing. Furiously. It was heaven. The words had returned in force and I followed them, getting sucked into act of creating. I was renewed.
A break was what I needed: to fill the tank. I found that balance. I got out in the world again and connected. No earbuds, no words, no stories. Just my thoughts and imagination.
During my break, I had lots of ideas, but set them aside in an idea notebook to think about later. There they waited, patiently.
The entire experience reminded me of something I had forgotten. An essential part of being a writer—-to live. We need to get out in the world and play. We need to recharge so we can craft new worlds.
One of my resolutions coming out of summer was to move forward with a new attitude and a schedule that included regular breaks for myself. One day every work week, I spend at least two hours doing something for me, whether that is playing or going for a walk or taking in a movie. The point is to spend time recharging so the words keep coming. It works. Letting go made everything better.